Women pursue all things Divine ... but let man pursue you !

Dearest friends & family,

I feel led to share this message to my sisters in Christ who are hurting in the arena of love ... 

This past week in my travels to a Christian retreat , I have been meeting several beautiful women in the body of Christ who have a deep desire to be with a loved one or to be married.
I say this with the greatest love, although your desires may be intense, remember the ways of Heaven.
There is a divine order in all things and this includes the evolving relationship between a man and woman.

The Word of God says " He who finds a wife finds a good thing"
~ Proverbs 18:22
It is the man who finds her ... not the woman who finds the man.
The initial pursuit lies on the part of the man.
I strongly believe that for any long term relationship to have a solid foundation, it has to begin with the man finding and pursuing the woman.

It is the man who first seeks you out.
It is the man who "moves mountains" to reach you.
It is the man who seeks you as his treasure ...
Choose to get in the way of this pursuit, and you rob your man of his clarity around his desire for you.

Confusion ensues .... then resentment and doubt, etc.
Patients and long- suffering are some of the traits of the Lord ...
Be patient, be long-suffering.


I want to bring to mind the heavenly ways I spoke of ...

Let's study the Spirit of Wisdom ...
This precious, delicate yet strong being.
The Spirit of Wisdom is one of the 7 Spirits of God spoken of in the Bible.
She is referred to in the feminine as a 'she'.

You can read of her in the BOOK OF PROVERBS
and in the extra-biblical text (originally canonized), THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON.

The Spirit of Wisdom gives us insight into the feminine.
In her ways, we are able to study the nature of the female.
The Spirit of Wisdom is to be wooed....
She does not aggressively enter or engage in our lives.
We have to first seek her ... we have to first seek the Kingdom before she starts to gentle embrace and invite us deeper in ....

" Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." 
 ~ Proverbs 4:7

She is to be pursued ....
She is the one to be gotten ...
She will not throw or launch herself upon those who have not sought her out with great effort like a treasure !

Women remember this, because this truly is key -
Pursuing a man and becoming the aggressor is an unattractive sight to witness ...
Why ?
Because this does not reflect of Heavenly Ways ...
It speaks of rebellion, impatience and insecurity.
If you find yourself engineering a means to get him ...

Simply Stop.
Forgive yourself.
Take a chill pill :)
Give him space to breathe.
And Rest in the Peace of Christ once more.

If you find yourself stirring with great desire, exercise that extra energy into getting in great shape, getting healthy, tying up loose ends, working on a project or simply getting your life, career, home or ministry in excellent order !

Use that excess energy for good purposes.

Wisdom of Solomon Chapter 6:12-16 
[12]Wisdom is radiant and unfading,
and she is easily discerned by those who love her,
and is found by those who seek her.
[13] She hastens to make herself known to those who desire her.
[14] He who rises early to seek her will have no difficulty,
for he will find her sitting at his gates.
[15] To fix one's thought on her is perfect understanding,
and he who is vigilant on her account will
soon be free from care,
[16] because she goes about seeking those worthy of her,
and she graciously appears to them in their paths,
and meets them in every thought.

Wisdom makes herself known to those who DESIRE her.
To those who rise early to SEEK her.
The feminine does not initiate.
Rather, she responds to the one who desires and seeks her.

Wisdom of Solomon 7:7-10
[7] Therefore I prayed, and understanding was given me;
I called upon God, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.
[8] I preferred her to scepters and thrones,
and I accounted wealth as nothing in comparison with her.
[9] Neither did I liken to her any priceless gem,
because all gold is but a little sand in her sight,
and silver will be accounted as clay before her.
[10] I loved her more than health and beauty,
and I chose to have her rather than light,
because her radiance never ceases.

Study these sacred words .... 
it is the seeker who prayed and called upon the Lord before the Spirit of Wisdom came.
And, in this great pursuit he then likens her to be a priceless gem.

Allow yourself to be that priceless gem to your beloved ... 
Let him chase you down and above all , do not deprive him from seeking his treasure.
When you choose to get in the way of this natural order, you are only getting in the way of the Lord's wonderful plans for you.

Even a move of God can be deterred and slowed down by the woman who engineers her own way in love.
The self-seeking, strategic ways may work for the world, appearing to be successful namely for short-term relationships. However for the believer submitted to the Lord, this requires submitting to the ways of the Kingdom in every arena, including every stage of your relationship.

If you're plunging into the wells of desire, impatience, frustration and longing to the point of distraction, these fleshly desires are not from the Lord. It's natural to fall into desire when we love, and most of us have experienced the throes of yearning at some point in our lives. 
But women please don't allow this to wrap your thoughts and turn you into someone you're not!

It was the joyful, fulfilled woman who attracted him in the first place.

Return to peace in Christ and let the Lord engineer your relationship as He deems. 
There is no better hand on your love-life than that of the Lord's. Enter His courts with thanksgiving and come boldly to His throne with your requests. Speak to your Heavenly Father of your deep desire if you need to. Engage with Holy Spirit on the stirrings of your heart.

Yes, Be inviting.
Be warm. 
Be receptive.
Be available to the one you are drawn to ... 
Be your most attractive self.
But don't be the one to initiate the relationship ...

Let him first pursue you.
Enjoy being The Lord's treasure as well as the treasure of your beloved ...

Remember ... It was that He our Groom that first sought us, His precious bride.
Let the seed of love grow when it is ready ... and only when it's ready.

" Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
~Song of Solomon 8:4

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires! Says the Word of God.

Peace be still.
That disturbance you feel, that intense desire to see and be with him ... to be in love and loved ... that uneasiness that stirs in you, robbing your peace is no less than a sin.... one that is easily let go of ...

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8

Pursue the KING of KINGS with your entire heart ... but please let your man pursue you ! :)


Sarah Ahava Fischer 



* If you find yourself disagreeing with what is shared here, I encourage you to start investigating happy marriages. 

In my experience, the strongest marriages that I have come across, are the ones who first and foremost put Christ first. 

I also tend to notice that in the strongest marriages (for most part), it was the husband who pursued his wife in the beginnings of the relationship. 

Of course, there are exceptions to any rule. 

But this is what I have noticed.


L4 Portrait said…
Hello Ahava,

My name is Lala and I'm from Indonesia. I'd like to ask for your permission to translate this posting of yours into Indonesian. Is it ok?

I believe many women, my friends in particular will be blessed and strengthened after reading this and be reminded that Christ is the center of all. Thank you in advance for your reply...Jesus bless you...
Dear Lala :)

Glad to hear from you and I am pleased to hear that it will be of benefit to many Indonesian women.

Yes you have my permission to post it. Please include a credit listing myself as the author + website.

' Writer - Ahava Sarah Fischer - www.ahavasarah.com '

Thank you dear. I look forward to seeing your article as I understand some Bahasa Malayu, which is similar to Indonesian lol :)


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